Buddhism and Respect for Parents

Compiled by Dr. Ron Epstein
Philosophy Department
San Francisco State University

Please send all comments, suggestions, and corrections to namofo@jps.net.

• "The Sutra about the Deep Kindness of Parents and the Difficulty of Repaying It" translated by Upasika Terri Nicholson
• Filiality: The Human Source
• Bodhisattva Nagarjuna on Respecting One's Father and Mother
• Itivuttaka
• Sutta-Nipata
• The Path of Purification
• Venerable Master Hsuan Hua's Commentary to "Universal Worth's Conduct and Vows"
• Teachings on Kindness to Mothers from Meaningful to Behold
• Heng Sure (Bhiksu). Buddhist Education into the Year 2000: Affirming the Virtue of Filial Respect. [slow download, Acrobat file]
• Jan Yun-hua. "The Role of Filial Piety in Chinese Buddhism: A Reassessment." (Yun-hua, Jan) [slow download, Acrobat file]
• Schopen, Gregory. "Filial Piety and the Monk in the Practice of Indian Buddhism: A Question of 'Sinicization' Viewed from the Other Side." T'oung Pao LXX (1984). [slow download, Acrobat file]
• Strong, John. "Filial Piety and Buddhism: the Indian Antecedents to a Chinese Problem." Traditions in Contact and Change, 1983. [slow download, Acrobat file]

Itivuttaka:

This was said by the Blessed One, said by the Arahant, so I have heard: "Living with Brahma are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with the first devas are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with the first teachers are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. Living with those worthy of gifts are those families where, in the home, mother & father are revered by the children. 'Brahma' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first devas' is a designation for mother & father. 'The first teachers' is a designation for mother & father. 'Those worthy of gifts' is a designation for mother & father. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, nourish them, introduce them to this world."

    Mother & father,
    compassionate to their family,
    are called
        Brahma,
        first teachers,
        those worthy of gifts
        from their children.
    So the wise should pay them
            homage,
            honor
        with food & drink
        clothing & bedding
        anointing & bathing
        & washing their feet.
    Performing these services to their parents, the wise
        are praised right here
        and after death
        rejoice in heaven. (106)

Though being well-to-do, not to support father and mother who are old and past their youth -- this is a cause of
    one's downfall. (I:6, Narada Thera, tr.)

...a wise man...should support his mother and father as his duty....(II:14, John D. Ireland, tr.)

[Regarding lovingkindness toward parents,] here is what is said:

Bhikkhus, it is not easy to find a being who has not formerly been your mother...your father...your sister...your son...your daughter (S. ii, 189-90).

Consequently he should think about that person thus: This person, it seems as my mother in the past carried me in her womb for ten months and removed from me without disgust as if it were yellow sandalwood my urine, exrement, spittle, snot, etc., and played  with me in her lap, and nourished me, carrying me about at her hip. And this person as my father went by great paths and paths set on piles, etc., to pursue the trade of merchant, and he risked his life for me by going into battle in double array, by sailing on the great ocean in shops and doing other difficult things and he nourished me by bringing back wealth by one means or another thinking to feed his children. (IX, 36, Nyanamoli, tr.)

For example, teaching living beings who do not understand filial piety to be filial is a method to cause them to plant good roots. There is a saying,

Of the ten thousan evil acts, lust is the worst;
Of the one hundred wholesome deeds, filial piety is foremost.

    What makes people different from animals is that people understand how to be filial to their parents and respectful to their teacher and elders. People are different from animals, who do not understand filiality, yet even

The lamb kneels to nurse;
The crow returns to feed its parents.

The young lamb kneels when it takes milk from its mother, and when the young crow grows up, it returns to care for its parents. Filial piety, therefore, is basic to being human. Those who are not filial to their parents do not have good roots, but one who is filial certainly does have good roots. (Flower Adornment Sutra, Ch 40, pp. 115-116)